to find yr way:

30 December 2024

happy new year 2015


my life since my last entry has been pretty uneventful. i had a nice christmas with the family and bought a bunch of things. the best thing going for me right now are these oakley sunglasses i got for xmas. they're round and make me look like doc ock.

i'm writing this on the 30th, so now's the time to think about old man time and decide what to bring into the new year, my nineteenth on this planet. i foresee 2025 as being a really good year compared to this one, which was intense and maybe too educational for my tastes. on the geopolitical level i'm not as confident things are going to shake out okay, but i'm trying to fight off the "we're so fucked" attitude for as long as i can.

i made a 'ins and outs' list on my private story the other day and am already kinda embarrassed of it. those lists on the whole might be "out." they're always kind of pretentious and include shit like "iambic pentameter" in the "ins." i myself tried to sneak in "barcelona as a concept" on mine. what the fuck does that even mean? ridiculous pastime. 

i'm going to hold myself to my new years resolutions this year. resolutions are the old-fashioned way of sharing your "ins," i suppose. 

in 2025 i will:
-think about italy a lot.
-listen to more neil young albums.
-be kinder to myself about making music.
-read 10 books. i readily admit i am a fake reader and can probably count the number of books i've read over the last two years that weren't for school or about bands on one hand. please recommend me books to read.
-buy a cowboy shirt. 
-try my hand at a short film/documentary.
-use my espresso machine more (this will probably coincide with "think about italy a lot").
-play the drums in a band again. if any of you could help me to that end, let me know.
-try to attend or host dinner parties. this will encourage me to cook and prep me for the domestic role i'll assume when i marry a breadwinning european model someday.
-increase my attention span by going for long walks without airpods in. this one may be challenging.

over all else, i hope to get better at being unapologetically loud in 2025. i've learned that quieting down for people is difficult for me, and softening my edges doesn't really make me any more palatable to people. i'm probably going to have to remind myself of that weekly for much of the year, but we are all works in progress blah blah blah et cetera. 

enough public contemplation- i've just reached my quota for the year. here's what will play my 2024 out.

runner - alex g
taylor hall, 24.11.13
emergency turn off - all natural lemon & lime flavors
soon - my bloody valentine
room mate - lizzy mercier descloux
four words - brittle stars
pinch and roll - hum
anthems - charli xcx
frittering - mercury rev
star sign - teenage fanclub
forsythia - veruca salt






18 December 2024

untitled


it's the moondrunk promises you made at seventeen,
the blood-orange evening glow that stains yr white shirts tan
the chutes and ladders, the panic and wonder
yr head on the lap of a pregnant green field

it's the lips of the girl you met tonight 
the halfhour gaze that tied you together
the cutting of the string with a goodbye kiss
the longing that lingers for something underneath

it's the promise this'll all happen again
the crush you develop on what disenchants you
the funhouse mirrorself you see in yr reflection
he meets your gaze but stares right past you

poem 24.12.15

the great wonder


 Violet Oakley's Lesbian Bible. A famous muralist painted 'God'—with a… | by  Jonathan Poletti | I blog God. | Medium


central panel from 'the great wonder: a vision of apocalypse," violet oakley, 1924.

this thing is in vassar's alumni house and is cool as fuck. makes reference to revelations 12:1, a bright spot in the apocolypse